Josh Brolin

It’s a Sin how bad this City is

Sin City: A Dame To Kill ForI guess there’s spoilers, but you probably don’t want to see this movie… so in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t really matter.  Unless you are a die hard Sin City fan… then you might… but you really shouldn’t.  Trust me, I’m a doctor.  But not really. 

Color me fucking stupid; But is this a prequel, sequel or both?  There are no definitive lines for what is Pre Sin City (2005) or Post Sin City, the characters and storylines are chucked into a blender and thus we have Sin City: A Dame to Kill for; and for me, massive confusion.  

It’s not that I’m unfamiliar with the comic, I’ve read The Hard Goodbye and browsed through the later installments due to boredom at book stores with decent graphic novel offerings.  I’ve seen the first movie, which I absolutely loved, but the sequel/prequel/whatever is a nonlinear mess.  

The film begins with Marv’s (Mickey Rourke) voiceover. Okay, that makes sense, it’s a prequel right?  We meet a new player to both the film and the Sin City universe (Miller written and approved), Johnny (Joseph Gordon Levitt), who aims to beat Senator Roark in a game of poker to prove he never loses (he also has daddy issues), and is totally pointless in the film.  We see Dwight (originally portrayed by Clive Owen) pre facial reconstruction as Josh Brolin, torturing himself over a woman, the dame to kill for Ava (Eva Green), who continuously uses him and who he always succombs to.  We also get to hang out in Old Town with Gail (Rosario Dawson) and learn how Manute (Dennis Haysbert cast in the role after Michael Clarke Duncan’s death) gets his fancy golden eye.  And then there’s Nancy (Jessica Alba), in a new Sin City story line written by Miller, boo hooing about John Hartigan’s (Bruce Willis) death which is part of the actual “sequel” (Hartigan kills himself at the end of Sin City 2005 after killing Weevil, Roark’s beloved yellow son, to protect Nancy) and with the help of Marv, enacts her revenge on Senator Roark (Powers Boothe).  But here’s where it gets… wiggy.  

If Nancy’s storyline is part of the sequel, how does Marv help her reap revenge?  At the end of Sin City (2005) Marv is sent to the electric chair for “murdering” prostitutes and killing Roark’s Cardinal brother, who himself, was cannibalizing the women with an ultra creepy Elijah Wood (Kevin).  Got it?  Good.  I understand that Marv can have a storyline in the prequel portion of Dame to Kill For and help Dwight with his lady troubles, but how the hell can he assist Nancy?  It just doesn’t make sense.

Dame also suffers without a clear protagonist to balance out the other more maniacal and homicidal characters (Dwight, Marv, Gail… I guess Nancy?).  John Hartigan, a Sin City detective who gave his life to protect Nancy in Sin City (2005) (Redundancy Alert), is a ghost in Dame to Kill For, but without his child-molester-killing heroics, there is no good guy of the bunch.  All of them are just pretty fucked up.  

For the most part, the casting is great and the cameos are fun (“Oh look honey, Christopher Lloyd!” “Shut up, I’m trying to watch the damn movie!”).  Eva Green is incredibly over the top (and naked) as the femme fatale Ava that she’s on the verge of being “campy”, but I’m cool with that.  I enjoyed Brolin (in everything except Jonah Hex) as Dwight, though he looks a decade or two older than Clive Owen’s version of the character (I suppose he had one hell of a plastic surgeon).  Unfortunately, Alba is incredibly unconvincing as an alcoholic seeping into madness and depression (her stripper dancing is also pretty terrible…  I would not give her a dollar and neither should you).  

The cinematography of Sin City (2005) was fantastic, capturing the gritty graphic novel’s visual aspects perfectly and (at the time) was a unique facet of the film. This time around, and nearly a decade later, is nothing we haven’t seen in the first film or in The Spirit (which was a total shitshow) and thus ceases to amaze and astonish (and ultimately can’t save this film).  The random bits of color in the first Sin City seemed to highlight details that were conducive to the plot (Goldie’s blonde hair) or violence, however in Dame to Kill For, there seemed to be no method to the madness.  My eyes could not explain to my brain what colorized items I should be paying attention to, and which were just purely for an aesthetic presence.  But whatever.  A Dame to Kill For is still a visually striking film, it’s just nothing new or bold.  

A Dame to Kill For is a half ass attempt at a sequel/prequel that was essentially unnecessary.   The film isn’t entirely terrible, it’s just an incoherent, noiresque, ultra violent mess that only die hard fans of the Sin City graphic novels would enjoy.  Let’s hope Rodriguez and Miller decide against a trilogy.  

The Roman Verdict-  C+

Hooked On A Feeling

I’m high on believing,

This film is so damn good!

Guardians Of The Galaxy

Guardians of the Galaxy is satisfying.  Like far beyond Snickers satisfying.  GOTG is one of the greatest comic book movies in the universe.  It knows what it is. Guardians has equal parts action, comedy and drama interwoven through a kick ass soundtrack that features David Bowie’s Moonage Daydream, Cherry Bomb by The Runaways, Hooked on a Feeling by Blue Swede, I Want You Back by the Jackson 5 and Escape (The Pina Colada Song) by Rupert Holmes.  Did I mention Guardians may very well also have the greatest soundtrack in the universe?  Cause it does.

Directed by James Gunn, known for Super, Dawn of the Dead and Movie 43, Guardians of the Galaxy was released July 31, 2014 by Marvel Studios.  When it was announced in 2013 that Disney had acquired the rights to the Marvel universe, I was filled with great apprehension.  I was envisioning super family friendly comic book films that would be a debauchery of the original source material.  I pondered, how bad could they really do?  I mean, not much can be worse than that terrible Ben Affleck Daredevil flick.  But why not?  Disney has the resources to gather the greatest possible directors and actors for the films and after the success of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, Disney understands that a middle of the road approach to family friendly features allows the film to pander to both children and adult audiences.  I can dig it.  With the successes of The Avengers, Captain America: Winter Soldier and now Guardians of the Galaxy, Disney is kicking ass, both in the box offices and with millions of Marvel fans.

I can’t say I have read any Guardians of the Galaxy comics, besides maybe an issue I received as a child (as a kid I was mostly into Marvel) with random Quasar, Adam Warlock and Midnight Sons comics.  I also can’t say I recall much of anything about the content of said comics (though they probably sit in a milk crate in my parent’s basement).  However, I can say without a doubt, I love Guardians of the Galaxy.

I was first turned on to GOTG from various appearances in Marvel cartoons such as Ultimate Spider-man, Avengers Assemble and The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes (You can check out the cartoons and episodes on Netflix. Pretty cool, right?).  My favorite characters of the space team are Rocket Raccoon and Groot, however with James Gunn’s movie adaptation casting of Chris Pratt as Peter Quill, (I love Chris Pratt in Park and Rec as well as The Lego Movie, that man is some kind of wonderful) Star-lord is not only bad ass, but hilarious and charismatic (I find most “leader” archetypes to be rather trying, I’m looking at you Leonardo… *cough*… Cyclops… *cough cough*… I understand they are a necessity, you need Luke Skywalker as much as you need Han Solo.  I just personally prefer the “rogue” anti-hero archetypes).  In general, the casting was pretty much spot on, Bradley Cooper as the wise cracking, gun toting Rocket Racoon, Vin Diesel (in the most tolerable role of his career), as the tree-like humanoid, Groot, who is an eloquent speaker with a large vocabulary, Zoe Saldana as the adopted daughter of Thanos, Gamora, wrestler turned actor Dave Bautista as Drax the Destroyer, a man hellbent on murdering Ronan to avenge the deaths of his daughter and wife, and Chris Pratt as Star-lord (I already ranted enough about this guy).  The supporting cast and cameos are superb, Lee Pace as Ronan the Accuser, Glenn Close as Nova Prime, John C. Reilly as Corpsman Dey, Benicio Del Toro as the Collector, Seth Green as Howard the Duck and our first glimpse of the awesomeness that is Josh Brolin as Thanos.

The special effects are breathtaking, the strange humanoids in the Marvel universe are brilliantly detailed.  Rocket is incredibly lifelike, from the individual hairs that comprise his fur, to the wet shine on his gum line.  The various alien species look fantastic and the realism makes the universe of the Guardians of the Galaxy concrete.  I saw the movie in 2D, so I have no idea if the 3D creates a greater depth to the film (like Avatar), or is merely a gimmick to hike up the cost of a movie ticket (the case with most 3D films).

So here’s the synopsis in its simplicity:  After unwittingly stealing a mysterious orb with great and terrible power, Peter Quill is hunted down by bounty hunters and a ruthless Kree fanatic, Ronan the Accuser, who wants to trade the orb to Thanos, for the destruction of the planet Xandar. Realizing the universe is in grave peril, Quill forms an uneasy alliance with an assassin, Gamora, two bounty hunters, Rocket Raccoon and Groot, and a prison inmate, Drax the Destroyer, to keep the orb out of Ronan’s grasp.  Much fun ensues.

Many films, when attempting to foster a team, forcibly pulls the characters together in an unnatural way, that only works in keeping up with the pace of the film.  In Guardians, the character’s relationships develops organically, transforming from shaky business alliances to trusting friendships.  Though the Guardians continuously bicker and fight, there is no doubt that by the climax of the film, that these characters would do anything for each other, including risk their lives.  The chemistry is fantastic, the romantic tension between Gamora and Quill as well as the platonic relationships, specifically between Groot and Rocket.

Guardians rocked my world and my universe.  This is the summer blockbuster you can not afford to miss out on.   I just saw GOTG and I need to see this again.  Definitely in 3D.

You can pretty much sum up Guardians of the Galaxy in three words, I AM GROOT!

And yes, Mr. Pratt, I have succumbed to your pelvic sorcery.

The Roman Verdict:  A

 

In honor of Guardians of the Galaxy, let’s take a look at some other recent comic book movies

X-Men: Days of Future Past- Finally an X-Men sequel that eradicates the horrendous continuity errors of the original three flicks.  Oh, and James McAvoy is fantastic as angsty Charles Xavier. (“You can’t tell me what to do Wolverine!  You’re not my real Dad!”)  B+

Captain America: The Winter Soldier- An action packed espionage thriller that surpasses its predecessor.  B+

Amazing Spider-Man 2-  Sets the stage for the Sinister Six movie, decent sequel but suffers from a similar fate as Dark Knight Rises, way too much going on.  B-

Man of Steel-  Far superior to Superman Returns but will never be as good as the original 1978 film.  C+

Thor: The Dark World-  Not bad, but not great.   I had to watch it three times because I kept falling asleep.  For reals.  C+

The Wolverine-  Thanks.  All we needed was another fucking Wolverine movie.  Can the next sequel actually be good?  Please?  C-

Kick-Ass 2-  The conclusion to the first.  An honest attempt at a sequel that had it’s moments…  and Jim Carrey.  C+

Iron Man 3-  I yield.  Please, no more Iron Man movies.   I love you Robert Downey Jr., but not even you can save this flick or this franchise.  C

The Dark Knight Rises-  I want to love this movie, but there’s too much going on for any actual character development.  Why are you such a bummer Bruce?  B-

The Avengers-  Joss Whedon if it wasn’t for you, good sir, the Avengers would have sucked the big one.  But it didn’t.  Well done.  B+

Amazing Spider-Man-  This reboot wouldn’t have been necessary if Tobey Maguire wasn’t cast as Peter Parker.  Far superior Spider-Man, far inferior villain.  B

Captain America: The First Avenger-  Very enjoyable period piece with a lot of heart.  Never be the Human Torch again.  You were destined for so much more, Chris Evans.  B

X-Men: First Class-  Praise the lord!  An actually awesome X-Men movie! B

Green Lantern-  Mediocre.  So goddamn mediocre.  Had so much potential.  But is so mediocre.  Ryan Reynolds, if you must play superhero dress up, stick to Deadpool.  C-

Thor-  Fun times for Asgardians and Earthlings alike! B

Jonah Hex- I like Jonah Hex and I wanted to like this movie, but I don’t.  Great cast besides Megan Fox.  Don’t ever see this movie.  It’s totally unnecessary.  D

Iron Man 2- Mickey Rourke as a Russian Whiplash?  Nice try Jon Favreau.  Barely entertaining.  C+

Kick-Ass- Firmly tethers the real world with the world constructed by the comic book industry.  A film that does live up to it’s name.  B

X-Men Origins: Wolverine- Ryan Reynolds as Wade Wilson is obviously the best thing about this movie.  Too bad “Deadpool” or whatever that monstrosity totally sucked in this movie.  C-

Watchmen- Watchmen is a graphic novel that CANNOT be a movie.  This is as good as it gets folks.  B

The Spirit- No, Frank Miller, no.  Stick to comics buddy.  (Please don’t ruin Sin City: A Dame to Kill For)  D+

The Incredible Hulk-  If Hulk watched this movie he would be angry.  And you wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.  C+

The Dark Knight- Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight is truly a masterpiece.  Heath Ledger is a revelation.  A

Iron Man- I never liked Iron Man but Robert Downey Jr. made me a believer.  B

Punisher: War Zone-  At least the ultra-violent reboot didn’t have John Travolta in it.  C

Hellboy II: The Golden Army-  A decent sequel to a decent Hellboy adaptation.  C+